That diet (mentioned in buring bridges ) is basically over for me. I have no excuses not to go out. I reached back out to some of the connections I feel like I lost. I re-started up my facebook (which is kinda creepy considering they keep all your information). I'm trying hard to get back what I lost through the last several months. Not an impossible task for me (I'm hoping).
I went to a party the other weekend, which was shockingly fun. I say shockingly because the cast of people I expected to be there weren't but yet I still had a great time. Without drinking I was still completely entertained. Which also brings me to this point where I have an unexpected bond with someone who I honestly never would of imagined me having a good friendship with. Especially since when we first me we weren't cool at all, our friendship grew, but it was always limited. That made me think like in the last blog (see Am I selfish )how selfish have I been?
(Selfishly I say) I believe I can honestly be a gift some how in anyone's life (sorry if that sounds conceited I just always felt like that for the people I know).
Moving along, I have been trying to get out a little more, I'm just trying to get back into the swing of how my life once was and should again.)
I have a lot of Ground to make up with people as well as my own self-being. I'm not going to be as "destructive" as I once was. I'm older (just turned 24 oct 26th), wiser and have sen myself down that path, so I won't go crazy with destructive decisions again. Besides I have no real reason to do all of that stuff again and I lost my taste for alot of things (food wise and socially), along with trying to stay healthy. I feel as if I'm back to normal just slightly more mature than I was once.
I think a quote that I will always stand by is, I don't believe people Change, but I do think they can improve. I'm still me so I didn't change, but I certainly believe I improved.
I feel as if I can handle my responsibilities now as a friend and as a mature adult. Perfect Example:
I was back on the job recently, I had to try my best to up lift more than one person. (Which I haven't done or cared to do when I was going through (Part 1 and Part 2 of my blogs) my little stink)
I believe I did a pretty good job of helping out with the few scenarios I've been given lately. It also felt good to do those sort of things for people again.
I also went out twice this week and just sat back and conversed with 2 friends. I felt like this is what I should of been doing for a long time. I mentally haven't felt this good in a while. I talked about things I kept under wraps or my "never to be talked about again" list. I talked about them freely just as they should of been discussed...as my past. Things that shouldn't had bothered me as much or at all anymore.
I feel a little better better a little bit more free.
I know im not all the way cured or forgiven from alot of aspect, but I feel great and this was definitely a start!
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