Friday, April 10, 2009

The Age where its either or!

This is through the daily discussions I have with friends about there relationship problems.

For young men such as myself in the tender age of 23-26. we have 2 choices when it comes to relationships. Strictly fucking or a long relationship that will carry over tot he age of 27+ where then we would decide if that is the woman that we want to marry or not. Now that may seem like the only two choices, but the marriage one after 27_ is all men (most men) think of thus making it a separate 3rd choice.

Now for women this age of 23-26 puts them in a quite different perdicument. Most women mainly want all those options (3). Mainly possibly option 3, because option 1 may require goign down in age..but option 2 keeps them at the same age which it seems like women are never fond of either. But option 3 comes at a price. Do they really want to get married at that age? or even be with a guy that is a much older especially since every generation varies in alot of people's personalities. Whose to say when im 30 & I want to be with a 23 year old woman that her mind set, style, personality wont be compeltely more unique to my own (or atleast what I'm use to) .

I some what feel bad for these girls at this age who are single. I'm sure they've already been thru option 1 & 2 Phase and probably really weary of Option 3 cuz they need more time. Men on the other hand have it a tad bit easier at this stage.
We'll I just started that stage so lets where I end up. Although where would that classify girls prior to this age that I dated? probably potential Option 2's and 3's.

Maybe I was just a different case?

but now I completely feel Option 1 more...although I want Option 2 I still have way too much to acomplish before i get into another relationship

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

My Kids may be Assholes

"Your Kids are goign to be 2x worst than you were"
Geezus! Help me if thats the case. Looking back from when I was a kid and looking at these kids now, you couldn't tell me shit and you damn sure can't tell these kids these days a got damn thing. atleast I was respectful for the most part & even if it took a few times to tell me or I gave lip I still did what people wanted me to do. Most of these kids (new generation which i'm sure will change by the time my kids are around the give lip age).
I pray my wife is more strict than I am. My boy(s) will be beat and taught to resepct everyone, be friends w/ everyone. My girl(s) will not be touched by me but still ahve the same values.

well from 09 me............
Good luck to future me. !!!

The Process of letting it go!

This may be a pretty lengthy one. That I may have to go back and add things here and there but let me start.

So alot of past sadder quotes have been about a particular person, my ex. I was Sad for a long time. because its very true (or atleast I say) that Men Love Hard, and women Love Fast.

well for some reason I Love Hard and Fast. and I would never consider getting into any type of relationship with anyone unless it was something I could see us progressing into more in the future.
(random women or people who i know I don't want nothing out of don't count)

Well with all that said, once again I've been holding on to this Love in my heart. when I shoulda been letting go.

In my Journal entry which was back in 3/11 I wrote an exert called "I can't escape".
Here is a piece of it:
"This is some bullshit, so I feel like I was doing good w/ the situation then fucking Bam, she invites me out to the hookah bar? what the fuck is that. I mean she didn't even wanna go there with me when we were together so why now all of a sudden did she offer to go with me. Sorry to be a tad paranoid in this situation but I can't help but to feel like I'm stepping into a gladiators Lion's den. Almost like I'm being set up/ I know thats wrong and as much as I trust her in my heart something just doesnt sit right for me.
Robyn says its because she finally stepped into the friendzone. Sorta hoping that is & isnt the case (do I really need to get into why? No) My main focus basically is that, I'm just goign to give up on trying to hide and everything from her also on caring so much (i will try) since I can't escape my feelings the only thing to do is accept them and get through with it. I told myself before to do this but now its been over 3 months, I personally think I am partyly over it and I can get another girl and be happy. but i won't lie about how she is still pulling me by a string I mean its a fishing line but its still there. "A little more time!!" Theme of the decade"

there u have it thats how iw as feeling then..but 2 weeks later I have a dream. In my journal titled "The letter in the dream"
I wont go into great detail about this but basically I had a dream before the whole "I can't escape thing" which was a dream about me giving her a letter saying "hey don't forget me, I still have all the love in the world for you, and I will never leave your side" Basically she can always count on me.
So 2 weeks later I have another dream into which we were in a classroom and she responded. saying, "don't worry, I love you too and I'll never forget you." Which honestly put me into a great ease. thinking like hey I can move on finally.

After all the keneption (sp?) about her inviting me to the hookah bar we finally went and had deep conversations mainly about her life and where it was headed or where it wasnt.
(which is a whole new topic but not my business to really spread around in detail.)

but basically the meeting at the hookah bar went well, we ate, smoked some hookah it was all good.
Also the person that I could find no wrong with I finally found somethings i wasnt really feeling that made me happy honestly cuz that fishing line i was hanging on by is now cut.

So don't get me wrong I still have so much Love for her, but Im also not hanging on to that string anymore.
I won't be sucked in like was,
I no longer have that thing hanging over my head like...what if she wants to get back what would I say.
Ofcourse I'd entertain it, but it wouldn't be an automatic yes like it was about a month ago.

Also I events have been happening and i want events to happen to me that require me to be away from any potential things holding me back from those goals.

Thats about it with this one sorry for the length. but it was needed.

So Its been awhile! Part 2 4/8

Ok so in part 1 which was almost 3 weeks ago, I promised to start being on this more and posting more blogs.
Well as you can see I've been just as busy (but still writing in the journal).
Its def. been a crazy 3 weeks!
But there will be a slight change to this Blog for a few post.
I was posting half ass poems, or writings on my emotional feelings.
But now its goign to be more experiences that has happened to me or things that I'm doing. or things I want to happen, stuff I talk about with other people...
So I'm interested to see how this is goign to go considering there are some pretty racy topics but def fun to discuss.
Maybe I'll get more followers and contributors soon!

that second Job is really starting to piss me off. It is like the mecca of Micro-managing and really getting under my skin with this whole sales thing.

I knwo I shouldnt complain about a job in "these hard times" but if i can find something else immediately or if i find out I can do some type of summer teaching aide program I may just have to quit soon.

although this is covering for my money slips a.k.a. alcohol, unneccesary food and gas.
While the Main check handles the bills.