Don't Sue Me

DISCLAIMER: This is not an Admission of Guilt. Just a small Rant

When you download music your stealing.
When you watch bootleg movies your stealing
Or are you?
What's really the difference between downloading music or listening to those same songs on the radio, or the t.v., hell even streaming music online (ie: youtube, imeem).
Shouldn't the real legality of it be if you are selling and/or distributing that music??

Matter of fact the actual law is as follows:
The U.S. Digital Millennium Copyright Act is much more strict and deems copying of copyrighted music (with the exception of making a copy for your own use) as illegal. The U.S. Code protects copyright owners from the unauthorized reproduction, adaptation or distribution of sound recordings, as well as certain digital performances to the public. In more general terms, it is considered legal for you to purchase a music CD and record (rip) it to MP3 files for your own use. Uploading these files via peer-to-peer networks would constitute a breach of the law.



The real evil are things like Itunes, Rhaphosody, Microsoft.
99 Cents a song, just to put it on my Ipod for my enjoyment only?
Damn Steve Jobs (owner of Apple) was it not enough that I paid 100+ for each Ipod I ever owned (about 4), and those were all with a discount. Thats also including the 4 Sansa (I personally recommend this brand) That i purchases all over $50 (except the one I got on black friday that was $25) Also including the 1 Zune i brought that was $100 bucks with a disocunt. Thats about 700 bucks I spent on a Mp3 player (in about 5 years since they were fairly new to me when I began college).
So I say how dare these companies also charge for downloading the songs.
Don't even get me started on the 12 dollars it cost to go to the movies. Although I dont think thats nearly as bad even though they should let you bring your own food in there at the very least.

My biggest thing is, I'm against making the rich even richer. Its bad enough they get alot of benefits (See blog) such as free food, clothes, club events, admission in to places, shoes...anything you can think of. On top of getting paid to do something they "love" only at the cost of a little Privacy every once in awhile. (OK let me stop& save that for another ranting blog)
Now I am aware that actors Muscians don't necessairly get paid from what we purchase directly. I realize it goes to the people around who help.

I mean Actors and Actress will forever get paid alot of money for the simple fact goign to the Movies is a world wide event.
I personally refuse to buy DVD only because I don't usually watch movies more than once. (although there are 4 exceptions: Half -Baked, Next Friday, The Big Hit, & The New Guy. I own 3 of those, I can watch those movies once a month if need be).

To get back on track music should be free. Its bad enough these musicians get paid thousands if not millions to do what alot of people do everyday (same goes for professional athletes.) While everyone else makes 1/8th of what they do and still give money to them.
THATS THE REAL CRIME!
Hey we are all entertained but I can go listen to a street performer sing (or watch a college football game) and be just as entertained.
Also would it be bad to download music if the CD has been out already for a year or more? Its not making any money selling ins tores. Hell there may still be a 100 copies just sitting in a store as we speak. So whats the difference? thats 1000 bucks the record lable won't see any way. I can just continue not to buy that CD and not give to the record companies anyway. But no one think s of that. So why would it be bad to DL a Cd from 2001 or 1996 (when music was good?)

heres no way that measly 5 bucks maybe 1 dollar because it may be on clearance. is goig to effect the music industry.

Like I said This is not an admission of guilt, but most Music stars make their money through apperances and concerts anyway. I work hard 40+ hours a week, why should I make someone who is doing something (I do everyday) they love super rich because of it?

Hates a Strong word...let's hope I dont use it...

::::WARNING:::: (I honestly try not to sound or be bitter about anything, but this has been on my mind way to long. I also try not to cuss like a sailor so i'll try my best not to in this post even though it may be hard.)


So I guess for people to truly Understand you would need a quick synopsis of why I'm even posting this.

Let me see If I can put it Movie Narrator style (btw: If you ever saw the movie 500 days of summer, It sum up this whole post in an instance. Actually Sums up my life)
BOY MEETS GIRL
BOY TRYS HARD FOR GIRL
BOY FINALLY GETS GIRL
BOY AND GIRL HAVE GREAT RELATIONSHIP
GIRL HAS INTERNAL PROBLEMS
GIRL BREAKS UP WITH BOY
BOY IS HEART BROKEN
GIRL GETS A NEW RELATIONSHIP
BOY IS HEART BROKEN AGAIN
GIRL CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY AND DOESN'T CARE
BOY RE-EVALUATES LIFE, MAKES CHANGES, BUT IS STILL BROKEN UP.
(Ok I apologize that was probably completely pointless but im trying to do it without the others business all out there.)


Ok so on to this topic.


Hate is a Strong word, but I'm damn close.

It's been nearly 9 months since. For some reason I'm still affected today. If I see a car that resembles yours, my heart jumps, I dont know If I'm going to pretend like I dont know you, or get out the car and start acting like an asshole.

If you read my topic http://hawkaj.blogspot.com/2009/08/give-me-heartbreak-again.html , you would know that I'm the type of person who needs closure and reasons. To which I didn't get from you.
At this point I don't even care.

I'm not a bad person, and I hardly ever have bad intentions or thoughts, but to be completely honest I could careless If I ever see or hear from you again in my life. (There I said it, I feel dirty for saying it but there it is)

What hurts me the most from saying that is that I really felt like we could be good friends.
I wish you the best in Life, and I want nothing more for you to be happy, but honestly that no longer has anything to do with me.

It's not the fact that your in the situation your in. The reason to me being so angry:

It's the fact that you can't fucking understand why I feel the way I feel....
It's the fact that you don't care and/or have an ounce of respect for me....

I wanna say I can't blame you, since you have never been put in this position. But your an adult so no excuses...


What you don't understand about me is this, just like in the heartbreak blog, I have been hurt and shitted on so much.
It was different with you.........I thought we had something strong, then it Kind of snapped in half with no notice to me.
I hate to sound like a dick but for someone that you supposedly "Loved" you sure picked a fucked up path.

I think.........well I know my main problem is just that I have no explanation to why, I was hush hush, but the new one is Flaunted.

AM I Wrong?

Things coulda been handled a bit differently IMO but now i feel like im the fuckin bad guy because im the one who is affected the most by this.

new Slow/love/emo/i miss you/heartbreak songs that come out, I connect with. and it makes me reflect which I hate

I dont wanna be reminded of the situation I want it gone.

Yes it has made me stronger, but how can I truly move on if I have no answers to improve with?

Once again it's sort of too late now for any type of apology/explanation.

I just wanna be over it. with or without that.

so Why does shit still bother me...??

it's been way to fucking long, and im still fuckin as bitter as I was 8/9 months ago

I can't seem to understand why.......

I've done other things to occupy my heard.

Misery Loves Company, I found company once or twice, but it wasn't enough.


What the hell do I do from this point.
meeting (like i said multiple time aleady) Is not an option..


One of my favorite songs right now is a song by the band All Time Low - Jasae Ray
Jasey Rae youtube video Check it out. It sorta is my situation (well the best song to explain atleast)


I'm sorry for bitching about this months later, if you look at my first couple of blogs, you may also get the picture of this also.

Thanks for listening.

I'll be great, don't worry just gotta find my happy medium .

You never know until you ask!!!

So unfortunately I obtained this very annoying habit from my mom, where I just ask random people questions just to see what they will say or what their answer is.

Its actually quite funny because my version of it is asking at stores that I go into, just to see If I can get discounts, or even free things.


I say I got this annoying habit from my mom because back in the day when I was a kid, and we would go to Mcdonalds before it closed (yes it was a long time ago when McD's actually closed at 10). Anyway we would intentionally go late at night so my mom could ask this one question. (sigh :( I can't believe im going to admit this).
"Can I just have the leftover food that didn't sell?"
SMH...
Now we're not poor by any means, It was just a simple question to see if they would do it... (also get extra food for the next day without paying)
It worked about 95% of the time. Usually with food like Fish Filet and Chicken sandwiches (lol you know the healthy stuff before the subway kick), and Some extra Frys and apple Pies

Now I dont know why, but this didn't emerge from the depths of my sub-consciousness until about 2 years ago.

Now everywhere I go, I just have to ask simple little questions just to see the reaction or what people say.

My greatest success was 2 years ago, at Subway.
I asked for a discount because it was Tuesday and I was having a bad day. So he gave me 2 12inch subs for the price of 2 cookies.
Needless to say I went back every week when that guy worked and brought Subs for a dollar plus I gave him a tip.

Hey when I was in retail/fast food, all people had to do is ask me for something like this, and I would just respect that they actually asked and let them have it. (If I could)

Now wherever I go, I just ask..."How about just giving me a discount?"
Or "Can I have this? I mean come on no one is really going to come buy it"

My attempts on bigger items don't seem work as succesfully as food. But If I learned one thing from my mom (lol no offense mom but you haven't taught me much)
Its "You never know until you ask"


Now I dont think this makes me ghetto, or cheap, I certainly have the money to pay for things, but to be able to save and just to see how giving (or convinced) the human race can be, I just do it.

Plus hell, Celebrities make millions of dollars, but get 90% (10% of what they pay are things like Cars, houses and boats) of the products they wear or use for free.
THEY HAVE THE MONEY TO BUY IT!!!!!!
Yet those same companies charge us (the people) 70 bucks for those jeans, or 20 dollars for that meal, or 1000 bucks for that watch.
I get the concept of celebrities generate business by them using their products.

I mean hell Prime example.. Jay Z wears that silly Beanie with the Brim hat (which I can't lie I was a slave to for 2 months.....its all I had for the cold I swear) Everyone wears those jay Z brim hats. Where didn't you see those hats is the real question.



Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritche wear Von Dutch trucker hats.
EVERYONE wears Von Dutch Trucker hats.

Paris has a little lapdog, every girl has to have a little lapdog.

So I understand the business side of things, but hell atleast make them pay something...Shipping and handling or something It makes no sense.

So my goal (Just thought about it today) is to try to get sponsored by any company to wear/eat their things and advertise! So I can get free stuff.
I'll just ask my random questions until I get something.

I already sort of completed this for my gym, I convinced the manager to give me free shirts, because I advertise for them by walking around every wear with "Gold's Gym" shirts and I got a free gym bag with "Gold's gym" on it because I asked (even though I had to give them 12 movies for their Cardio Cinema) but hell they wouldn't of done that for anyone else.


(Sorry this post wasn't suppose to be this long I swear lol It just kinda flows out)


Well I'm going to stop myself but everyone you get the point.


Ask and you shall receive!!! Or atleast you tried.

Its always better to ask for forgivness then ask for permission! (that had nothing to do with this post but I smell a new post brewin from that statement)


Tell me your stories on this if you guys try it. Or tell me if I'm crazy.

Give me Heartbreak again!

As I was talking to my friend, we were talking about how much it sucks to end relationships, especially if you get shitted on (at least in your opinion).
But heartbreak is part of relationships, better yet life!
I feel like the 4 times (possibly more) That I felt heartbreak I took all of them the wrong way. Which was way harder than I needed to. I've admitted to myself (also somewhere in this blog) that yes I have a soft heart, I'm one of those "Sensitive" guys. I wear my heart on my sleeve, not many of us "good guys" out there, but it seems like most women just want bad boys

I wasn't going to but let me explain my 4 heartbreaks thus far. (Well what I did after I should say) There will be no names, no dates and times, just reactions!

4. I may of did the heart breaking, but I felt like shit and still was heart broken also. I became stagnant. Only wanted to search for the right now, not right. Just wanted some fun and took advantage of some uncalled for situations to fill my void. Alot of drinking (misery loves company)

3. Ok I was in the wrong with the whole situation, (I should of never gotten myself into it knowing what it already was) But I fooled myself, made myself believe that there was a chance even though I was totally going against my own rules (she cheats on him she'll cheat on you). Maybe it was the chase, Maybe it was the thrill, but I honestly think it was just the crazy chemistry we had.
Once again, I blamed myself for not being what they truly wanted, pushing to hard on this one. Trying to mix oil and water. After this I went into drinking alot partying more. Filing the void again.

2. Once again another situation I probably shouldn't of gotten into. The crazy thing was it didn't start that way. It started like "hey it is what it is, nothing will really come of it". I guess this one just kinda progressed as we got to know each other better. I was sure this was what I wanted. I fell hard.
Even Harder when it was over. To point where I was anti-social didn't want to talk to no one, just do my thing. I didn't drink or go overboard, but it made me realize who I need to cut out my life, who's in it for me, and who's just in it.

1. Damn near wanted to commit suicide because I was so depressed about why she did it. Was I not good enough. Was it because of my looks?
But this is the one that started my initial weight loss so I guess I gotta thank her for that.


Now out of those 4 situations, I'm Really good friends with 2 of them we speak consistently, Speak to the 1 of them on a inconsistent basis, and don't speak to the other one what so ever.


Yes I'm one of those guys who want Closure, wants to knos why something didn't work out. Even though it hurts, and I may not be happy with the answer, but fuck it, its an answer right?
Can't go your whole life not knowing what 1+1 is, eventually you have to know how to improve. You can't improve on your mistakes, if you dont know how you got into them!


This is why I think I want to be heart broken again. Just so I can evaluate how I act, what measures to take, maybe this time I can do it right handle it better.

Or maybe I can not put so much heart into things like I usually do and take it for what its worth.

I dont want to get in another relationship anytime soon but my next one I will be careful, and observe myself more in it.

So Heartbreak I could go without again, but if it happens, I think I'm ready for this one. (at least I hope!!!)