Thursday, March 18, 2010

Out of it!

Just everything lately hasn't been running right or according to plan.
I feel like I've been a tad depressed lately. I can't quite pin-point it. I mean I know some factors of what it is, but those are defintely different stories for different blogs.

I think the main thing is I have just been feeling a little lonely lately.

I mean I do the same routine every single day. Wake up, Eat, work, gym, eat, sleep
Monday- Friday
and Saturdays and Sundays haven't exactly been feeling a heck of a lot different. (minus the work)

I have been going out on sat nights recently, but its not with a crowd that im particularly fond of (not the people I go with, but the actual people there).

I dont know I can't necessarily explain it.

My Mental is just all screwed up right now

and My physical hell I break my body down everyday in the gym. Its starting to get hard to wake up in the mornings now. I don't feel well rested or anything.
I think I need just a good 2 days off of doing nothing from everything.

too bad that will never happen with the way I just have to keep moving... There is no way I can just sit in the house or anywhere for that matter for a long period of time.

I dont know Its just Frustrating that the "Life Plan" hasn't exactly gone according to plan.

But when I look back in the past to think about what my "Life Plan" was, I think I can honestly say I never had a plan.

Since age 12 I remember saying to myself, I'm goign to live and go where the wind will take me.
Boy was that a mistake, I owe student loans (thats it Thank God) and No real plan but to go to Japan.

I've been watching alot Man Vs. Wild Lately and thinking I may just go ahead and live like a nomad for a year, go to some buddhist temple and survive and learn the ancient ways.

Who knows just right now My mind is in a Daze and I hate having this feeling.

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