Saturday, February 20, 2010

I'm not Anti-social, I just don't like people!

I have kind of slipped back into my "I don't wanna go out anywhere" mode again. This time is different though, im not trying to hide from anyone, it's not because I don't want to...
I'm just tired of people in general. Maybe its a small phase im going through for now, but I'm very content with doing what I do everyday. Work, Eat, Gym, Eat, Sleep.
I do have my few people that I talk to and I enjoy them, but others I don't need or particularly care for. I don't need to meet any new people, or get distracted by any stragglers.
I got rid of facebook again, hopefully this time for good. I couldn't just delete half my friends there because either they would try to add me again or feel some what insulted, and I don't want anyone to feel that way in any way shape or form, so I just got rid of myself.
Back on track.
I have fell off a little from my goals of 2010, so i need to spend more time focusing on them and that is what I intend to do while being out the radar.

I am almost done reading a whole Series of a story line.
I still need to write my collection of blogs I had planned.
I still need to write my movie/book idea
I still need to learn better Japanese

There is so much to do, and so little time to do it in.

Once again thats a little off topic.

I Have notice the more and more I go outside into society, the worst i see this world (or atleast my area) is turning.
People are rude, nasty, and just flat out mean.
I haven't seen anyone actually do a decent or respectable act since christmas time.
and whether some people realize this or not, that was 2 months ago.

It seems like people release bad juju and anger into this world, all year long until the one time where it is meant for them to receive something back even after all the negativity they have released.
I like to think of myself as one of the good people in the world, and I feel like I can get along with just about anyone, even at my age of 24 I still feel like i can relate to both the younger generation (God help them btw) and the older generation.
But everyone seems to have a screw loose these days.

I don't ever remember it being so bad (although I can barely remember much of anything anyway)
I guess I never really saw it because, last year (09) I was in self misery and shut myself off to the world, and all other years before that I had on rose covered glasses (in the words of my dear friend ash) and never saw the world for what it was and what it was becoming.
So with all of this now i just don't even feel the need to go out for any other reason but to get food or any other necessities, work out, and stay home.
I can't change the world, so why stay in this trap im in.
I can't wait to go to Japan, even if its for a week, I hope its a better experience than what im sitting here feeling.
The few ties I have here i love them to death, but I need something new. I need something more.
and once again I feel like i don't need anyone new in my life, but I could also just be looking in the wrong places.
Maybe a change of scenery is all I need.

but atleast I honestly have been trying to shake/break the mood and anti-socialism i was in last year in 09.
I have seen progress so thats a good first step!
HaHa but the way things have been going as of late, I may slip right back in that viscous cycle. ]

Thats my small rant for now, tune in next time, hopefully i'll have those blogs i've been trying to right written up.

btw, who would of ever thought the Library would be the most peaceful place on earth for me?
I have been here for an hour and knocked this blog out. compared to the 2 weeks I sat and did nothing (because I was off work due to snow) and couldn't even muster up the energy for this short blog (or write the rest of mine for that matter).


  1. haha seriously you sound so much like me - minus the world part - sometimes i notice that stuff and think about it, but sometimes, most times, (i hate to admit) I'm just too darn selfish to look that far into the world so it's actually one, pretty cool to see your insight, and two, i guess i prove exactly what you are saying about the world by being so selfish, ha, what a vicious cycle.

    but yeah i know what you mean, just pulling yourself away from everything like that. it could be a phase. or epiphany? haha

    and i had no idea you knew japanese and want to go to Japan, that's really cool i'd love to read your posts when your there thatd be so neat!

    lastly, keeping blogging! it's fun reading your stuff because i feel like i can relate so much, also i know you like the bachelor so youre already one-upping other bloggers :) but really, keep blogging more.

  2. This is the first time I have ever seen your blog, and I wonder why I didn't check it out sooner. I might just make the plunge and follow you. In a non-psycho kind of way, of course.

    And the library has been my best friend for the last year and half. It is a true haven. Good stuff, keep it up!