I can't say this has been the best 3 months for me...
Lets start with going overseas to teach.
Well I got into EPIK, which is teaching in Korea, problem is I got in all my visa requirements to late (story of my life). So I am no longer going during the original August date I was suppose to leave (technically today)
Now I am pushing for a March Date (unless I get this job) which to where I will have to push for next august. Either way I feel disappointed that I'm not overseas fulfilling my dreams.
Maybe it just wasn't meant to be for the moment.
Well with that it makes it more difficult on me job wise because I was substitute teaching and I stopped working in June, so I have been 2 months without a job. School Starts next week but Substituting is not what I want to do, but I have to do something for money. Stripping isn't exactly in my future for right now.
It also doesn't help that I have been frivolously spending money at bars, on food I dont need. I'm usually really tight on money but I have been in a I just want to have fun attitude lately.
This attitude brings me in to the Love life. Which has been (and technically still is) Non existant for the past 2 years.
I do have a lady I am really interested in (I will do a separate blog about this situation) but I because of my job situation and this fun attitude, I don't think I can be in a relationship at the moment. I know for a fact that the superficial stuff doesn't mean anything to her, but it means alot to me.
I may of mentioned this in a blog or two, but I am a very old fashioned guy and I have to be the provider a.k.a The Man! of a relationship.
and it Honestly just hurts.
There are other girls who I would like to get to know better, but i feel hindered 1. because of my financial situation. but 2. because I really like the young lady mentioned above.
I feel like a typical guy in the situation to where I want my cake and eat it too.
What makes it worst is that I'm not that type of guy so that sucks.
Once again I'll get more into that in another blog.
Other than that I mean life has been pretty normal for me, I stay in about 6 days a week, go out once a week and just kinda roll with the punches.
I have been a little Stressed with everything, but I just kinda sit back and pray things will work the way their suppose to work, no matter what that should be.
I wish i could think of more to give you guys as an update, but I really don't so for now i'll just relax....
(edit if i need to)
Monday, August 16, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
BILLS, BILLS, BILLS
The Student loans are catching up to me now.
I'm in a dispute with one from my 1st college to where I don't even remember taking out a loan, I actually didn't take out a loan, and they send me note after note.
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, I DON'T OWE YOU IF I NEVER TOOK MONEY FROM YOU.
I dont know what to and its frustrating because I feel like im going to owe a lot of money for something I never even took.
I'm in a dispute with one from my 1st college to where I don't even remember taking out a loan, I actually didn't take out a loan, and they send me note after note.
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, I DON'T OWE YOU IF I NEVER TOOK MONEY FROM YOU.
I dont know what to and its frustrating because I feel like im going to owe a lot of money for something I never even took.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Yes Man!!!
So this is one of the best Jim Carrey movies he has made.
The premise of the movie is that he goes to a seminar to encourage not being a negative nancy and disapointing his friends and everyone by saying no all the time.
So he (what he think to be a type of voodoo) is programmed to say Yes to every Request and and everything asked of him. (if he said no he believed something bad would happen to him.)
This pretty much makes him more spontaneous and all around a much better person than what he use to be.
I have come to terms, I'm the same way he was (before the seminar) where people don't even ask me anymore because its pretty much guaranteed im going to make an excuse or just say no.
Well Starting April 1st I have decided to be a Yes Man.
I will try it out for a week and if it works for me. I will finish it up for the rest of the month.
I think the hardest thing for me is that i'm a stubborn person so I pray I don't get any stupid request or anything that usually makes me say no.
I really want to have the strength to do this. I tried it for like a day once, and the kids I work with pissed me off so much lol lets just say i stopped halfway through.
We'll I'll be on spring break the first week so lets see how this works out
wish me luck!!!!
The premise of the movie is that he goes to a seminar to encourage not being a negative nancy and disapointing his friends and everyone by saying no all the time.
So he (what he think to be a type of voodoo) is programmed to say Yes to every Request and and everything asked of him. (if he said no he believed something bad would happen to him.)
This pretty much makes him more spontaneous and all around a much better person than what he use to be.
I have come to terms, I'm the same way he was (before the seminar) where people don't even ask me anymore because its pretty much guaranteed im going to make an excuse or just say no.
Well Starting April 1st I have decided to be a Yes Man.
I will try it out for a week and if it works for me. I will finish it up for the rest of the month.
I think the hardest thing for me is that i'm a stubborn person so I pray I don't get any stupid request or anything that usually makes me say no.
I really want to have the strength to do this. I tried it for like a day once, and the kids I work with pissed me off so much lol lets just say i stopped halfway through.
We'll I'll be on spring break the first week so lets see how this works out
wish me luck!!!!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Out of it!
Just everything lately hasn't been running right or according to plan.
I feel like I've been a tad depressed lately. I can't quite pin-point it. I mean I know some factors of what it is, but those are defintely different stories for different blogs.
I think the main thing is I have just been feeling a little lonely lately.
I mean I do the same routine every single day. Wake up, Eat, work, gym, eat, sleep
Monday- Friday
and Saturdays and Sundays haven't exactly been feeling a heck of a lot different. (minus the work)
I have been going out on sat nights recently, but its not with a crowd that im particularly fond of (not the people I go with, but the actual people there).
I dont know I can't necessarily explain it.
My Mental is just all screwed up right now
and My physical hell I break my body down everyday in the gym. Its starting to get hard to wake up in the mornings now. I don't feel well rested or anything.
I think I need just a good 2 days off of doing nothing from everything.
too bad that will never happen with the way I just have to keep moving... There is no way I can just sit in the house or anywhere for that matter for a long period of time.
I dont know Its just Frustrating that the "Life Plan" hasn't exactly gone according to plan.
But when I look back in the past to think about what my "Life Plan" was, I think I can honestly say I never had a plan.
Since age 12 I remember saying to myself, I'm goign to live and go where the wind will take me.
Boy was that a mistake, I owe student loans (thats it Thank God) and No real plan but to go to Japan.
I've been watching alot Man Vs. Wild Lately and thinking I may just go ahead and live like a nomad for a year, go to some buddhist temple and survive and learn the ancient ways.
Who knows just right now My mind is in a Daze and I hate having this feeling.
I feel like I've been a tad depressed lately. I can't quite pin-point it. I mean I know some factors of what it is, but those are defintely different stories for different blogs.
I think the main thing is I have just been feeling a little lonely lately.
I mean I do the same routine every single day. Wake up, Eat, work, gym, eat, sleep
Monday- Friday
and Saturdays and Sundays haven't exactly been feeling a heck of a lot different. (minus the work)
I have been going out on sat nights recently, but its not with a crowd that im particularly fond of (not the people I go with, but the actual people there).
I dont know I can't necessarily explain it.
My Mental is just all screwed up right now
and My physical hell I break my body down everyday in the gym. Its starting to get hard to wake up in the mornings now. I don't feel well rested or anything.
I think I need just a good 2 days off of doing nothing from everything.
too bad that will never happen with the way I just have to keep moving... There is no way I can just sit in the house or anywhere for that matter for a long period of time.
I dont know Its just Frustrating that the "Life Plan" hasn't exactly gone according to plan.
But when I look back in the past to think about what my "Life Plan" was, I think I can honestly say I never had a plan.
Since age 12 I remember saying to myself, I'm goign to live and go where the wind will take me.
Boy was that a mistake, I owe student loans (thats it Thank God) and No real plan but to go to Japan.
I've been watching alot Man Vs. Wild Lately and thinking I may just go ahead and live like a nomad for a year, go to some buddhist temple and survive and learn the ancient ways.
Who knows just right now My mind is in a Daze and I hate having this feeling.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
I'm not Anti-social, I just don't like people!
I have kind of slipped back into my "I don't wanna go out anywhere" mode again. This time is different though, im not trying to hide from anyone, it's not because I don't want to...
I'm just tired of people in general. Maybe its a small phase im going through for now, but I'm very content with doing what I do everyday. Work, Eat, Gym, Eat, Sleep.
I do have my few people that I talk to and I enjoy them, but others I don't need or particularly care for. I don't need to meet any new people, or get distracted by any stragglers.
I got rid of facebook again, hopefully this time for good. I couldn't just delete half my friends there because either they would try to add me again or feel some what insulted, and I don't want anyone to feel that way in any way shape or form, so I just got rid of myself.
Back on track.
I have fell off a little from my goals of 2010, so i need to spend more time focusing on them and that is what I intend to do while being out the radar.
I am almost done reading a whole Series of a story line.
I still need to write my collection of blogs I had planned.
I still need to write my movie/book idea
I still need to learn better Japanese
There is so much to do, and so little time to do it in.
Once again thats a little off topic.
I Have notice the more and more I go outside into society, the worst i see this world (or atleast my area) is turning.
People are rude, nasty, and just flat out mean.
I haven't seen anyone actually do a decent or respectable act since christmas time.
and whether some people realize this or not, that was 2 months ago.
It seems like people release bad juju and anger into this world, all year long until the one time where it is meant for them to receive something back even after all the negativity they have released.
I like to think of myself as one of the good people in the world, and I feel like I can get along with just about anyone, even at my age of 24 I still feel like i can relate to both the younger generation (God help them btw) and the older generation.
But everyone seems to have a screw loose these days.
I don't ever remember it being so bad (although I can barely remember much of anything anyway)
I guess I never really saw it because, last year (09) I was in self misery and shut myself off to the world, and all other years before that I had on rose covered glasses (in the words of my dear friend ash) and never saw the world for what it was and what it was becoming.
So with all of this now i just don't even feel the need to go out for any other reason but to get food or any other necessities, work out, and stay home.
I can't change the world, so why stay in this trap im in.
I can't wait to go to Japan, even if its for a week, I hope its a better experience than what im sitting here feeling.
The few ties I have here i love them to death, but I need something new. I need something more.
and once again I feel like i don't need anyone new in my life, but I could also just be looking in the wrong places.
Maybe a change of scenery is all I need.
but atleast I honestly have been trying to shake/break the mood and anti-socialism i was in last year in 09.
I have seen progress so thats a good first step!
HaHa but the way things have been going as of late, I may slip right back in that viscous cycle. ]
Thats my small rant for now, tune in next time, hopefully i'll have those blogs i've been trying to right written up.
btw, who would of ever thought the Library would be the most peaceful place on earth for me?
I have been here for an hour and knocked this blog out. compared to the 2 weeks I sat and did nothing (because I was off work due to snow) and couldn't even muster up the energy for this short blog (or write the rest of mine for that matter).
I'm just tired of people in general. Maybe its a small phase im going through for now, but I'm very content with doing what I do everyday. Work, Eat, Gym, Eat, Sleep.
I do have my few people that I talk to and I enjoy them, but others I don't need or particularly care for. I don't need to meet any new people, or get distracted by any stragglers.
I got rid of facebook again, hopefully this time for good. I couldn't just delete half my friends there because either they would try to add me again or feel some what insulted, and I don't want anyone to feel that way in any way shape or form, so I just got rid of myself.
Back on track.
I have fell off a little from my goals of 2010, so i need to spend more time focusing on them and that is what I intend to do while being out the radar.
I am almost done reading a whole Series of a story line.
I still need to write my collection of blogs I had planned.
I still need to write my movie/book idea
I still need to learn better Japanese
There is so much to do, and so little time to do it in.
Once again thats a little off topic.
I Have notice the more and more I go outside into society, the worst i see this world (or atleast my area) is turning.
People are rude, nasty, and just flat out mean.
I haven't seen anyone actually do a decent or respectable act since christmas time.
and whether some people realize this or not, that was 2 months ago.
It seems like people release bad juju and anger into this world, all year long until the one time where it is meant for them to receive something back even after all the negativity they have released.
I like to think of myself as one of the good people in the world, and I feel like I can get along with just about anyone, even at my age of 24 I still feel like i can relate to both the younger generation (God help them btw) and the older generation.
But everyone seems to have a screw loose these days.
I don't ever remember it being so bad (although I can barely remember much of anything anyway)
I guess I never really saw it because, last year (09) I was in self misery and shut myself off to the world, and all other years before that I had on rose covered glasses (in the words of my dear friend ash) and never saw the world for what it was and what it was becoming.
So with all of this now i just don't even feel the need to go out for any other reason but to get food or any other necessities, work out, and stay home.
I can't change the world, so why stay in this trap im in.
I can't wait to go to Japan, even if its for a week, I hope its a better experience than what im sitting here feeling.
The few ties I have here i love them to death, but I need something new. I need something more.
and once again I feel like i don't need anyone new in my life, but I could also just be looking in the wrong places.
Maybe a change of scenery is all I need.
but atleast I honestly have been trying to shake/break the mood and anti-socialism i was in last year in 09.
I have seen progress so thats a good first step!
HaHa but the way things have been going as of late, I may slip right back in that viscous cycle. ]
Thats my small rant for now, tune in next time, hopefully i'll have those blogs i've been trying to right written up.
btw, who would of ever thought the Library would be the most peaceful place on earth for me?
I have been here for an hour and knocked this blog out. compared to the 2 weeks I sat and did nothing (because I was off work due to snow) and couldn't even muster up the energy for this short blog (or write the rest of mine for that matter).
Friday, January 15, 2010
Tony vs. Anthony!!! The battle for Superiority!
So after careful consideration and a hellishly draining entire 2009...
I have decided to bring back Asshole Anthony!!!
He was there in 2008 and definitely took over the situations that needed a real bold and strong person to take over.
All you really have to do is go through all of 2009's blogs to realize life was hard and really bearing down on me.
In 2008 I had my shit together!
Good Job Situation, women, went out and pretty much controlled my life. I wasn't the normal Passive person I usually am. I was Active, Aggressive a Go Getter!
Asshole Anthony settled down after he did his magic for me and put me in a good situation (at the time), but things slipped and went down hill...
Asshole Anthony was lost in the abyss all off 2009, He's been scratching, crawling, climbing, running, and feening to get back out to the surface!!!
And He's made it!
As Tony, I don't want to completely emerge myself in Asshole Anthony again, he cut alot of people off without thinking twice. He was insensitive, and he just didn't care. But even I know He was good for me in ALOT of situations that I needed him in.
The question is can I keep my Yin and Yang? Can I keep Asshole Anthony ONLY for the situations that I may need him in, or will he completely take over again?
I need him as much as he needs me...But right now I need him more, and he is the type of person if you give him an Inch he will take a mile!
Here he is:::Asshole Anthony
So this Punk ass Tony needs me here, How could he let himself go an entire year (09)Being a punk bitch. Loathing everyday, sitting around, mad, depressed, and sad.
Does he not realize thats what made it harder for me to come out and take charge, It was like the itsy bitsy spider, the more sad he was the more I got rained down that stupid ass drain he calls life.
Even though I'm only halfway up, I will make sure shit goes right..
I'm also plotting to get all the way out again, and show him to fully Live his life...
We're not getting any fuckin younger, so things aren't getting any easier for us!
I'm going to show him how to live again while he still has time!
You may think its Crazy, but trust me You haven't seen anything yet!!
Stay tuned Things should get really interesting if I have anything to do with it
Anthony Out bitches!
Friday, January 1, 2010
WELCOME 2010!!!! Feelings and Plans
So let me start by saying 2009 was a dreadful year for me,
I spent most of my days in pitty, agony, and sorrow, along with being anti-social and cutting off alot of people.
Now you know how People say I'm going to make a change in the next year...blah blah blah..
well this New Year, I actually feel it, in my soul.
I've went through an incredible amount of changes in 2009 that really just shaped me to be a better and more suited for 2010
As for my followers I need you guys to look out for these things
1. I have a series of Blogs im creating with my sister about maybe some ground rules, of what people should do when it comes to the opposite sex.. From a Male and female perspective (mine and my sisters)
2. I decided to write a Screenplay/movie/indie film (whatever you wanna call it)
So ofcourse I will post that or maybe have an excerpt of the script on here.
3. JAPAN JAPAN JAPAN. I feel as if This is my year to finally go. and when I do there will be plenty of blog topics coming from that.
4. Also my new workout blog will be coming up when I start to cut weight again so Watch out for that..
I wanna thank my followers now and whoever else may start to Follow later Thank you!
I spent most of my days in pitty, agony, and sorrow, along with being anti-social and cutting off alot of people.
Now you know how People say I'm going to make a change in the next year...blah blah blah..
well this New Year, I actually feel it, in my soul.
I've went through an incredible amount of changes in 2009 that really just shaped me to be a better and more suited for 2010
As for my followers I need you guys to look out for these things
1. I have a series of Blogs im creating with my sister about maybe some ground rules, of what people should do when it comes to the opposite sex.. From a Male and female perspective (mine and my sisters)
2. I decided to write a Screenplay/movie/indie film (whatever you wanna call it)
So ofcourse I will post that or maybe have an excerpt of the script on here.
3. JAPAN JAPAN JAPAN. I feel as if This is my year to finally go. and when I do there will be plenty of blog topics coming from that.
4. Also my new workout blog will be coming up when I start to cut weight again so Watch out for that..
I wanna thank my followers now and whoever else may start to Follow later Thank you!
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